Worse Wedding Gifts for Ash

Buying the right wedding present is a tedious task. It’s something we’d rather not rack our brains with. But with the much-trumpeted occasion of the Abhi-Ash wedding just around the corner, celebs on and off the guest list will be on a gift-hunting frenzy. Now, you can’t just gift money or kitchen sets to Abhishek and Aishwarya – I mean this is the union of the hottest celebrity.

So well-wishers will have to start getting imaginative, otherwise they risk being labeled ‘dull’ by the Bachchans. And this is one tag anyone will find hard living down however big a shot he or she is. So now, secretaries will be sought and consultants consulted for the perfect gift. But there will always be some independent thinkers who will choose to make their own decisions. Of course, some of these free spirits will purchase disastrous presents for the divine duo in their unchecked moment of enthusiasm. Indiatimes Movies speculates what some of these well-intentioned but unfortunate presents could be.

Blow Dryer from Viveik Oberoi

Ash’s former flame Viveik Oberoi would gift Abhishek a mobile battery operated blow dryer – No this won’t be for his long black tresses, but they’re meant to thaw out Ash whenever she becomes the ice maiden. Poor boy Viveik felt the chill when he and Ash were the hot (cold?) couple. But now that his ice age is over, we’re sure some warmth has returned to his heart to gift such a present. His accompanying card would read, “Dear Abhi, if Ash drops the temperatures too low, then you can use the dryer on yourself.”

A book on dancing from Rakhi Sawant

We all know what an authority figure Rakhi Sawant is on item dances. That’s why we think she can pen a guide book on seductive item dances just for Ash. The dance book will have all the super-secret super-sexy dance moves to keep AB Baby ogling. Rakhi could write in her typical style, “You master meri book and tera mard won’t sing Kabhi Kabhi, but always Abhi Abhi.” - We only worry about the effect Rakhi’s literary skills will have on poor Ashu’s mind. *sigh*

An exotic holiday package from Shah Rukh Khan

Shah Rukh Khan could gift the lovebirds with an exotic holiday package for two. The King Khan would want Abhishek and Aishwarya to be someplace that gives them their privacy. Thus he could charter them a trip to Antarctica (the coldest and harshest place on Earth). Of course, he knows the cold will give those two a chance to huddle up which we think is so romantic and thoughtful. And Ash will just feel so much at home there – she’s the ice-maiden, remember?

Self-made music DVD from Salman Khan

Bad boy Salman would give Ash a DVD compilation of all the scenes where he’s been bare-chested, this is either where he’s been dancing, working out or just sitting idle. Of course a CD would be much too small to showcase any of this. The song playing throughout this testosterone-filled display of brawn would be ‘Oasis – Don’t Look Back in Anger’. The DVD would be a reminder of the things Ash saw in Sallu.

Shoes from Mahesh Bhatt

Mahesh Bhatt could give both Abhi and Ash a pair of lead shoes. This is so that massive attention at their union won’t let them and their inflated egos soar into space. “Remain on the ground Bachchans,” cautions the wise old Mr. Bhatt.

A Gown from Celina Jaitley

Celina can gift Ash a beautiful and costly black shimmery metallic Valentino gown. The dress is very pretty, but it’s also embarrassingly low-cut. We all know Celina’s motto is ‘Assets are meant to be flaunted’!

Paparazzi stun gun from Sanjay Dutt

Sanjay Dutt believes that every celebrity should have the right to protect himself, which is why he can gift the soon-to-be-newly-weds with the best in electroshock weaponry - an M-26 Taser gun! Now the pesky paparazzi and intrusive fans will have the shock of their lives when they try to invade their privacy.

A self-help book from Shilpa Shetty

This one’s another book for the newlyweds. It’s called ‘Avoid controversies and remain unnoticed’. We really think that controversy is a good thing for anyone’s career whether it is Ash, Abhi or Shilpa!